ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
