And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
