I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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