ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
