dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
