You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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