Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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