i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
