break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
