My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
