Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
