I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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