Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
