Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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