So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
