Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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