I want to walk on stilts...naked
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
