Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
