billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize