you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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