Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
