He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
