So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
