Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
