Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
