I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
