The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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