I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
