I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
