apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
