Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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