the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize