Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
