i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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