hotel room ftw
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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