You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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