Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
no you cant smoke seaweed
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
