there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
