I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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