Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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