Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
