nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have demons in me.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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