How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
