Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize