question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
