I could have mohawked her pubes.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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