I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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