I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I have fence marks all over my body
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
