You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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