dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
