This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
