You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
