there's paper in my vomit.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize