Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
