# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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