i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
