I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
