super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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