i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
