Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
