His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
