wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
