he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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