Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
